Au revoir

Her: I know you have something to ask me. Go ahead. Ask me.
Me: No i don't. I have nothing to ask you.
Her: I know you do. I can tell by the way you look at me.
Me: I really don't la. Eh, so when you wanna watch movie ah? (avoiding that question by changing topics)

What makes me wonder is how you can be so sure that i actually intend to ask you to be my girlfriend. That i will confess my feelings for you. That i actually have feelings for you. Is it that obvious by my actions. And how can you tell that it is all sincere?

Maybe i have been single for far too long. Maybe i have gotten used to my current lifestyle. Eating whenever i want to. Sleeping when i please. Going to classes only if i feel like it. Not having to care about anyone. Not having to make sure you are home safely or warm, fed and loved. Not having to answer to anyone but myself. Not having to commit, or to be in the position where i could hurt your feelings. Telling you that i am going to bed when i am actually not.

You are no stranger to my friends. Well, to say that is an understatement. You are by far the closest girl in the entire world to my network of friends besides their own girlfriends of course. It is no surprise as you are friendly, outgoing, open-minded and lovable. I am not bothered by it where jealousy is concerened because i have no insecurities. In fact, i actually find it great because not only i get to hang out with you, i get to hang out with my favoutitest peoples in the entire world and everyone gets along with one another. Win-win situation.

But, but, but, what if i am not able to be a super boyfriend that you expect or want me to be. What if im the biggest jerk-off ever. And i treat you badly. What if im unfaithful to you. No doubt that those guys will ask about it and being the lovable girl that you are you will gain their sympathy and ill get bashed left, right, up and down. Not that i am afraid of that. I know i have my bros to back my ass up. I just want to avoid these kinds of shits. No, not cause im pussy. But, for obvious reasons (i.e it is shits).

But what if i let you go? There is little doubt that you can make me happy. That you can take care of me and give me everything that i need and want. And i cant deny that i have feelings for you. And neither can i ignore the fact that there is chemistry between us. And the fact that i cant stop thinking about you.

Oh wait, how can i be so sure that you feel the same for me? Crap. I think its time for some sleep.

Au revoir